If you are a real estate agent you learn early on that the most important thing, the only thing that matters is
Yes, it matters hugely where you live.
Where you live determines how happy you are and whether there is meaning and joy in your life.
And yet, most of us choose to live in hovels and surround ourselves with garbage. Even excrement.
Read on …
It Really Matters Where You Live!
If You Want Joy and Meaning and Purpose You Have to Keep Your House Clean
We don’t live in a bungalow or a duplex or a mansion or an apartment.
We live in our mind.
Yes, that is our permanent residence and there are no constraints of square feet there.
It’s a vast space with unlimited area.
And you know what? No matter how grand our rooms, balconies, garages and verandahs are, life is good only when things are clean and sorted there – in our mind.
And that is where we keep things messy.
Regrets piled up in one corner, expectations stuffed in a closet, secrets under the carpet, worries littered everywhere, comparisons spilt on the table, complexes leaking from bottles, grudges stinking in a box and anxieties in every room.
This is our real home.
And we cannot outsource housekeeping.
We have to do it ourselves.
John had a Harvard MBA and considered himself smarter than most of his peers.
But life was not unfolding the way he thought it would.
He was passed over for promotion and the company decided to bring in someone from the outside. The new person was also a Harvard MBA and a year junior to him. He thought the person incompetent and seethed at the injustice.
He could have joined a start-up venture capital firm but turned it down because the hours were too long and he wanted stability. That firm now had multiple unicorns in its stable and was the lead investor in two of them. He regretted his decision every day.
He was worried about his son. The kid spent too much time playing tennis and not enough on schoolwork. He had decent grades but 3.3 was not going to get him into the Ivies. And his tennis was not good enough to get him an athletic scholarship.
He also brooded about his marriage. His wife was a teacher and a good homemaker, but she was just not ‘right’ for the circles he was entering into. His new boss, for example, was married to a stunner who also did billion dollar deals for the private equity firm she worked for. She was likely to make partner this year.
Ten years ago he would have been thrilled to live in the house he was in. Now it seemed drab and inferior. He wanted to entertain at home but was ashamed to invite his colleagues to his inadequate abode and plain spouse who was more likely to talk about children than art and culture.
His sense of dissatisfaction was growing stronger by the day.
Where is John living?
He has constructed his world with his mental chatter and is experiencing it in precisely the way he built it.
And he has no clue that this is what he has done.
In fact, he is convinced that he had bad breaks in career, choice of spouse and much else.
There is a lesson here for you.
You are incredibly privileged. Your situation is better than that of the vast majority of the world’s population. You don’t have to be concerned about whether you will have lunch tomorrow. You have a bed to sleep in and a roof over your head.
But you don’t feel privileged.
You feel stressed and are painfully conscious of where you could have been and should have been and where others are and you are not.
This is because your mental chatter is running your life. It is designing the house you live in.
There is a simple solution for this.
Start observing your mental chatter and note how it takes you to places and then triggers the emotions you feel.
John’s mental chatter led him to envy his boss and feel depressed about his lot in life.
The very lot that he dreamed about a decade ago.
Obviously John’s vision has broadened considerably and what was once acceptable is no longer so.
So should John give up on his dreams?
Not at all.
We grow by expanding our horizons and what we strive for.
But John can endeavor to advance from a place of gratitude for reaching where he has.
Instead he has chosen to do try from a place of deep dissatisfaction.
And he does not realize that it was choice.
When you observe your mental chatter, you quickly see that it takes you to places that you would rather not visit.
And it is easier to turn it around as you would a horse you are riding. When envy raises its green head, direct your thoughts to how much you have to be grateful for.
And from that place of gratitude, try to do better.
Where are YOU living?
London | Upcoming Event | You Are Invited!
If you would like to clean the house you live in, consider taking my course Creativity and Personal Mastery (CPM).
A live CPM class begins in London on Sep 20. There are three modules and the dates are Sep 20-22, Nov 1-3, Dec 6-8. Click here for details and to apply.
India | Would your team benefit from an in-person workshop?
I will be in India from Dec 18, 2019 to January 17, 2020. If you would like me to speak at your company and/or conduct a workshop, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org