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It’s Holiday Season – Don’t Make the Mistake I Made

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I made a bunch of phone calls this week but reached few of the persons I wanted to. Companies are slowing down and executives are more concerned with holiday plans than business.

My wife is in California visiting our daughter and I am holding the fort in New York looking after my mother-in-law who is the most good-natured and undemanding elder relative you can hope to find.

And I am also taking stock and acknowledging the many blessings in my life. And I am remembering my friend.

We had known each other for more than three decades and met socially many times in the early days.

Then he moved west and I moved east so geography intervened. I used to joke that New York was close to the largest toxic dump in the world – a dump called New Jersey. As a new resident of that state he did not agree. Keep Reading

This Illusion is Wrecking your Life!

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The Great Illusion

There is an illusion that you hold on to though your own experience shows that it is just that – an illusion. You know it, but you behave as if it were not true.

And much suffering results from this.

What is this delusion that holds you in thrall?

It is the notion that you are one single permanent self that is present all the time.

I know this is not true.

The resolute me that greets the morning with joy and determines to eat healthy and exercise is not the same person who, having had a good dinner and brushed his teeth, decides the perfect way to end the day is with a deep-fried, salty snack. Keep Reading

How to Straighten Out your Life

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We were in Paris this summer and my wife, being a big Monet fan, dragged me to Giverny. Monet was one of those rare painters who actually made enough money during his lifetime to live a comfortable, even luxurious, life.

Here is what his estate in Giverny looks like and this is a tiny part of it:

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Certainly conducive to peaceful thoughts isn’t it?

My wife tries to recreate this atmosphere and I am grateful for this. Here is a picture of a part of my backyard: Keep Reading

If I Could Just Get Her to Change, Then Things Would be OK

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TRI Blog

I have a number of personal coaching clients and one theme has surfaced many times. Come to think of it, it is also prevalent in the lives of friends and relatives.

A busy attorney is scaling new professional heights but his son is investigating controlled substances and has had several brushes with the law. He knows that if he could get his son to change life would be perfect.

An entrepreneur is grappling a key-employee issue. The guy is brilliant and gets the job done. But he is also brusque and alienates everyone. Including, unfortunately, clients. If only he could get him to change…

A senior executive works long hours. When he gets home he just wants to put his feet up and relax and watch some junk on the idiot box. He was a dutiful father and chauffeured children to various activities when young. But now that they have left the house he feels entitled to his ‘relax’ time. But his wife wants to go our for dinner every day and with persons he finds intolerable. If only he could get her to change… Keep Reading

You are not going anywhere!

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I am a public speaker and I frequently used the example of a hamster on a wheel to illustrate our tendency to get caught up in frantic activity while going nowhere.

Virtually everybody could relate to the example.

In fact, hamster-on-a-wheel has become shorthand for a meaningless life filled with unfulfilling action. Keep Reading