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Personal Mastery for extraordinary impact

As human beings we are torn. We want more stuff, better relationships, richer experiences and to be known and appreciated and applauded. Our insecurities are legion and they hound us into frenetic activity as we try to quiet the shrieking, howling feverish monkey of our mind.

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It’s Better Than Loving What You Do!

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Sometimes the lesson you need to learn is right at home but you have spent a lifetime avoiding it.

And you have suffered much totally unnecessary misery as a result.

To give you some background, I do not like gardening.

I do like beautiful gardens with colorful flowers with butterflies flitting to and fro but they do not make my heart soar.

And I emphatically do not like planting and weeding and watering and fertilizing and all the stuff you have to do to create a beautiful garden.

My wife, on the other hand, LOVES gardening. Which is fine by me. But what is NOT fine is the way in which she tries to rope me in to ‘help’ her in the misguided hope that I will start liking it. Keep Reading

The Telemarketer and Me – a Valuable Lesson

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If I were to make a list of my five favorite activities, ‘Listening to a telemarketer make his pitch’ would not make it.

Between you and me it would not make the ‘2,000 activities I enjoy’ list.

When the National Do-Not-Call list was announced a few years ago, I signed up immediately.

It does not work. Those pesky creatures get through anyway.

What REALLY annoys me is that, starting recently, telemarketers have started calling me on my cell phone.

Two days ago I was talking to my daughter shortly before I was due to drive her to the airport. We were having a lively discussion on a topic that escapes me.

My cell phone rang.

I did not recognize the number but had recently posted a blog that was well received so I took the call in case it was a fan.

A somewhat nasal voice mispronounced my name and wanted to know how my day was going.

“Who are you and why are you calling?” I responded. I was loud and not very polite. Keep Reading

I HATE My Job – and the Solution!

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One of the blessings of what I do is that people share their deepest longings and darkest fears with me. I am the repository of many confidences and know the turmoil that lurks beneath many shiny ‘success’ stories.

One problem, in particular, bedevils many.

They toil in jobs that they mildly dislike, or feel disenchanted about and sometimes even hate. They would like to follow their ‘passion’ but feel stuck because ‘they need the income’ and can’t see how their ‘passion’ can provide this.

In my last blog – “What a Fool He Was. Or Was He?” – I spoke about someone who found a solution to this dilemma by walking away.

I also said that another solution is to really like – not ‘pretend like’ – what you actually do.

The question is how do you ‘like’ or even ‘love’ something that you have spent so much time decrying as something you are stuck in, something that you have to ‘endure’ because of some external consideration such as money or stability or security.

The way to do this is to change the way you think! Keep Reading

How to Deal With Fear and Anger After a Terrorist Attack

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The pictures are surreal even as the aftermath is gruesome. Three youths nonchalantly pushing airport luggage carts, calm and composed as they stare into middle distance.

And there are scenes of horrific destruction with dismembered bodies and weeping relatives after the suitcases on the carts exploded.

The incidents happen more frequently and countries that prided themselves as havens of tranquility find that the world outside cannot be kept out and intrudes noisily.

An elderly man, a war veteran, was choleric as he raged against ‘these beasts’ and bemoaned that he was too old to bear arms once again. When someone suggested that he feel compassion for all who had lost their lives including those who caused the mayhem, he foamed at the mouth. “I don’t want to feel compassion,” he screamed, “I want to (expletive deleted) them!”

He had a lot more to say about the ‘misguided’ idiots who refused to recognize the danger we were all in and wasted sympathy on terrorists. Many in earshot nodded in agreement.

We feel righteous. We have done nothing ‘wrong’, or at least nothing that calls for the level of wanton bloodletting that we witness. We need to stamp out this evil using overwhelming force if necessary. Keep Reading

What to do about the ‘beep’! How to let go of inner disturbance

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In my last post I described how we get upset when a motorist ‘beeps’ at us if we are slow to get moving when the light turns green.

Such a trivial event has the ability to disturb our equanimity.

What about more ‘serious’ events like your messy divorce proceeding, business reverses or career setbacks?

I am going to speak about an important step you can take to ‘let go’ of the inner disturbance that life produces so, so often.

Wanting to ‘let it go’ is not the same thing as being able to do so. I will say more about this in a future post.

So here is something that can help you.

Step 1: Examine your life as it is right now and make a list of all the things that disturb you with some predictability.

For example: you may are bothered by your daughter refusing to take college seriously and hanging out with a boyfriend you think unsuitable; or you get angry/depressed at how things are at work and feel your career has been derailed; or you have concerns about your relationship with your spouse and wonder if you should stay in your marriage; or whatever. Keep Reading