As most of you know, I am a member of the MG100.
Marshall Goldsmith is, of course, the eminent executive coach who helped move coaching from “He’s getting coached – there is something ‘wrong’ with him” to “He’s getting coached. The company must really see potential in him.”
The MG100 is a group of leading coaches he formed as a learning network whose members also support and help each other. I have met, and continue to meet, wonderful individuals with whom there is both quick rapport and great camaraderie.
David Noble is a member and I know of him but do not recollect meeting him. Carol Kauffman is a member and I do know her. We have had delightful interactions.
David and Carol have written a new book called Real Time Leadership. And I was amazed at how much there is in this book that meshes right into Creativity and Personal Mastery. I’ll give you two examples and a valuable exercise shortly.
Various bodies have nominated Carol to lists of best coaches in the world and she is also on the faculty of Harvard Medical School where she chairs their annual coaching conference. When we met at MG100 events, I knew we were aligned. What I did not know till I read her new book is how deep this alignment is.
One of the most powerful exercises in CPM is where I encourage participants to go beyond “What should I do?” and instead ask, “Who am I being?”
David and Carol use the same question to telling effect in their coaching, but they add two words to make it, “Who am I being right now?”
They have excellent anecdotes about how asking this question led to almost miraculous solutions to seemingly intractable interpersonal deadlocks.
In CPM I stress that we are always, all the time, dropping clues about who we are. Here is what David and Carol say, “Leadership isn’t just what you say and do. You emanate signals, subconsciously, that others pick up on. They are neurologically aware of how you bring yourself to interpersonal situations, even if they don’t realize it. Be cognizant of your tone of voice, facial expressions, and more, and be aware that people pick up on authentic communication. You can’t fake the signals.”
And now here is a useful exercise for you to practice. They call it The Five C’s.
1. Calm: There is a storm, but you are steady.
2. Clear: There is a fog, but you can see. Your thinking is accurate.
3. Curious: You need to take action, but you have a spirit of inquiry.
4. Compassionate: You empathize with others and factor their needs into your thinking
5. Courageous: You feel the fear, but you respond to the challenge.
Whenever you are in a stressful situation – say you are being called to explain why your marketing initiative was an abject failure or you are being interviewed for a CEO position or about to propose marriage or whatever – take a minute to rate yourself on each of these dimensions. Use a scale of 1 to 10.
If you are below a six on any dimension, take a further minute to mentally shore up that quality.
In my experience, ‘curious’ and ‘compassionate’ are what you need to work on the most.
Try this and let me know if you find it useful.
P.S.: Carol has written a short encapsulation of their book specially for members of my group.
Here is how to obtain it: Please go to Amazon and pre-order Real Time Leadership.
Then go here to obtain your gift.
Please do this BEFORE February 25.