We are so inquisitive, aren’t we?
We want to know.
We want to know what’s for dinner and whether we will get promoted and whether our kid will get into the top university.
And we don’t hesitate to ask questions. LOTS of questions.
But there is one question we do not ask.
We do not even think of asking it.
And that is a pity because asking that question will remove a boulder and show you a path that you never knew existed.
A path that can take you to complete freedom.
Stay till the end to learn about a program that will guide you through this process ; )
Curiosity is often regarded as a virtue.
Most of our scientific discoveries came about because someone was curious about something.
Curiosity, for example, led Ben Franklin to tie a key to a kite and send it up in a thunderstorm to be hit by lightning and that led to discoveries in electricity and magnetism.
In the same vein, the overwhelming majority of us ask questions about stuff outside us. We want to make sense of the world outside.
We are often focused on the outside, however, we can make enormous progress in our well being if we also ask questions about stuff going on inside us as well.
And here is a great question with which to start:
Why do we need – ever so strongly need – the events of our life to be a particular way?
Think about rigid expectations you may have about life.
You may not think you have rigid expectations, but you do. Oh, yes, you do.
You want to be promoted at work and get regular increases in your paycheck. Or you want your business to flourish and revenues to increase dramatically.
You want your children to be happy, your food to be delicious, your spouse to be caring and your dog to quickly do its thing outside.
And you strive mightily to make the world conform to the way you want it to be.
If you’re like so many, you are troubled when things don’t work out the way you would like it to be and redouble your efforts to make it conform to your desires.
Why is it not OK for life to be just the way it is or for it to unfold the way it would have?
If this scenario sounds familiar, I’d like to suggest … you have bought into the “if-then model” and it is running your life.
Thus IF you get promoted, THEN you will be happy. IF your partner behaves the way you like it, THEN you will be happy.
Do you try and try and try to shape the universe to conform to the way you want it to be?
I imagine this will not come as too much of a surprise but the truth is …
You don’t have control. You never had control. You never will have control.
And when you come face to face with your lack of control, you become afraid.
Think of some time in your life when something happened that you really did not want to have happen.
Possibly it caused a great deal of turmoil in your life at that time.
Can you see that, looking at it now, it was not as troubling as it may have seemed at the time?
Could the same be equally true of what you are facing today?
Try to gently let go of your preferences. Your ever so strong preferences.
You really wanted to be promoted to head of your department.
But someone else gets that position.
Instead of being agitated and bent out of shape by this, can you simply accept that ‘this happened’ and continue to enjoy each day?
This does not mean that you do not try your level best to rearrange the world to suit your preferences.
It does mean that you explicitly recognize that you do not have control and may not succeed in your effort even if it is prodigious effort.
And you are OK with it.
If you succeed, fantastic.
If you do not succeed, fantastic.
And then every day becomes a blast.