04 Feb What to do about the ‘beep’! How to let go of inner disturbance
In my last post I described how we get upset when a motorist ‘beeps’ at us if we are slow to get moving when the light turns green.
Such a trivial event has the ability to disturb our equanimity.
What about more ‘serious’ events like your messy divorce proceeding, business reverses or career setbacks?
I am going to speak about an important step you can take to ‘let go’ of the inner disturbance that life produces so, so often.
Wanting to ‘let it go’ is not the same thing as being able to do so. I will say more about this in a future post.
So here is something that can help you.
Step 1: Examine your life as it is right now and make a list of all the things that disturb you with some predictability.
For example: you may are bothered by your daughter refusing to take college seriously and hanging out with a boyfriend you think unsuitable; or you get angry/depressed at how things are at work and feel your career has been derailed; or you have concerns about your relationship with your spouse and wonder if you should stay in your marriage; or whatever.
Step 2: In each case, think of the ‘worst case scenario’. Your daughter may drop out of college, run off with her unsuitable paramour who leaves her when she is pregnant.
You may get fired with no notice and your spouse may leave you before you decide what you would like.
Step 3: Recognize that this ‘worst case scenario’ is just a thought in your head. It may come to pass. It may not happen. In any event, imagine that it transpires and come up with what you will do if and when it happens.
Here is the secret – when you have consciously and explicitly recognized that this could happen and what you will do if it does, it loses its power to terrify you.
Make your peace with that ‘worst case scenario’. You hope it won’t happen. But if it does, you now know what you intend to do.
Step 4: Go about your business and take steps that will prevent that ‘worst case scenario’ from coming about. Focus relentlessly on your intent and what you are doing.
DO NOT even think about what will happen. You have no control over the outcome so why waste your energy worrying?
As long as you pour your energy into what you are doing, you will feel peace rather than turbulence.
Repeat these steps for every situation that disturbs you.
It is a simple process and, once you get the hang of it, you will find that it works in a vast range of situations.
Do implement this in your life NOW!
P.S.: I am conducting a two module workshop in London in collaboration with Imperial College. The modules are in March and June and you are required to attend both.
If you would like to participate, be sure to tell Julie Coyne that you are part of Dr. Rao’s community to get a 10% discount